Shikata ga nai (what will be will be)- Episode 1
‘Shikata ga nai’…A peculiar phrase, a phrase i’d found myself using a lot recently but one i could not fully accept because its meaning opposed everything i had instilled into my psyche through the years.
I have always considered my self to be an intellectual, a thinker, someone who believed in facts and facts alone, and yet the more stages i advanced to on this adventure game called “life”, the more it became glaringly obvious to me that most of the decisions i had made were not based on facts, but they were infact borne of a great furnance, a mighty fire that burnt deep down in some place, some chamber, some organ that was as yet still imperceptible to the human mind but erupted ever so suddenly onto the surface as emotions. Emotions, these intangible things, that take the form of sensations spiralling through your whole being in time shorter than what it takes to bat an eye lid.
A force powerful enough to make a man take his own life, or drive a loving wife, who once found no greater fulfillment in life than when she frolicked and cuddle with her spouse into sneaking out under the guise of errand running into the arms of another, of who she now could not be more convinced was her paramore.
I looked up at the moon and noticed how it seemed a little less bright than usual and for a short while i snapped out of my late night nostalgia induced reverie. It wasn’t long before i drifted back into a labrynth of my own thoughts.
Contemplation seemed to be my favorite hobby these days as it was always close at hand and i could readily find myself lost in what i had previously dubbed as the ‘thought maze’. Most times i never actually arrive at any answers to my questions, or solutions to my problems but i always found peace in contemplation…
To be continued